Narcissists are manipulative people. They manage to get innocent people to do their bidding, believe their lies and fall under their spell. I’ve seen it happen even to perfectly nice and normal people. Some of the people who attack me on behalf of my narcissist former abuser are otherwise decent people who honestly think they are supporting the wronged party. Sometimes narcissists can even lead normal people into bullying others or getting into trouble.
Have you ever met someone who was “cool” and assertive but mean to certain people? Yet, they manage to keep friends and admirers by giving out just the right amounts of charm to the right people? The narcissist’s friends follow the narcissist’s lead and start picking on and bullying others because the narcissist makes them feel like they fit in or they are cool for doing it. I watched this in an internet group the other day. One person in particular had been bullying the “little” people for months but was acceptably nice and funny with others. Many of the others would not join in the bullying, but because the bully was nice to them, they didn’t stop it either. Eventually, these perfectly nice people started following the bully’s lead. I was shocked at one person’s behavior. I’d thought she was a really nice person…but there she was attacking others alongside the bully after a while. I’ve seen this happen in “real life,” too.
If you were to examine your behavior with your friends and the influence they have over you, would you be proud of yourself? Would you be the person you want to be? Or do you have to admit that certain friends are not helping you to be a better person? The people you choose to be friends with are a reflection of you and can affect your behavior. Make sure they are the kind of person you want to be and be with. Beware of falling into a narcissist’s or a bully’s footsteps.