Don’t spend another minute thinking of your ex-narcissist. They’ve already wasted enough of your time!
When I made the choice to stop being mad about the narcissist’s games and get back to being myself, I started working on projects to distract me from my anger about the injustice of dealing with a narcissist and his successful smear campaign. I sure wasn’t going to win his sociopathic battle, and there was no way I was going to join him, so I started thinking about how I was going to make my life better. I felt like I was drifting through life and not really using my talents. I felt like I should be farther ahead in life, and I felt helpless to protect myself from narcissists and their manipulation. I’d already been reading self-help books, and I knew some of the “answers,” but I wasn’t living them. I’d read the The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and several books about positivity by one of my favorite authors, Wayne Dyer. I’d read some books about getting rich by Napoleon Hill. I knew that all of these authors and their ideas were well-respected and I knew that people swore by them, but I didn’t really live what I’d read as far as improving myself and making my life successful. There were other topics that I had read self-help books on that I did live–specifically raising children to be emotionally intelligent. (That is my biggest goal as a parent because my parents were such a disaster and I grew up to be an underachiever with no boundaries. I want better for my kids!)
So, I started re-reading all these books I had in my house and really taking them to heart. And, as part of my healing, I started a blog about them and what I was learning from each one. Basically, it’s a blog about self-help books and how they can help people like us who have been going through life being treated like doormats and not really doing what we want to be doing. I decided to start learning from experts and really examining the ways healthy and successful people live and love. I am an information sponge these days! Plus, all of this “work” has taken my mind off my troubles, and more importantly, given me excitement and hope…and drive to really change my life. My goal is to live my life and thrive now. I have hit some setbacks, but in between my blogs with book reviews, I’ve started writing about my setbacks or things I’m learning as I go along. It’s really great therapy for me!
These days, I make a point of pushing towards my career and life goals every day, and refusing to fail. If something doesn’t work, I try another route, but I’m not giving up. I’m reading, learning and blogging about things like: how to be assertive, how to have good boundaries, how people judge and view me–and what I need to do to make good impressions, what makes success and more. Having this project in my life keeps me going forward. I would highly, highly recommend jumping into a project to take your mind off a narcissist and to give you motivation to improve yourself instead of wasting time thinking about the narc who hurt you.
If you are interested in seeing some of my journey, which might give you some good ideas too, you can visit my blog at: lifeasyoumakeit.com I’d really like to have some guest bloggers with their own success journey stories or reading recommendations too, if anyone is interested! I’d love to see it become a learning site where we move on from abuse and learn to shine 🙂