You know, there are a lot of narcissists out there, but there are also a lot of jerks who aren’t narcissists. Just for fun, I thought I’d offer them this helpful guide 😉
How NOT to be a narcissist, (or just a jerk:)
1. Own your mistakes. Even if you hurt someone on accident or through a misunderstanding, acknowledge that you did it. Apologize. Try not to do it again.
If you do want to be a narcissist…
Deny you made the mistake
Blame the person you hurt
Change the subject
Remind the person of something they did wrong many years earlier
Get mad at the person holding you accountable
If you want that person to stick around so you can keep their attention, fake an apology
Make the “mistake” again
2. Don’t lie to people–especially for the purpose of tricking them into doing something they wouldn’t do if they knew the truth. Don’t tell different people different stories.
If you do want to be a narcissist…
Never tell the truth
Lie, even if it doesn’t matter
Lie for a quick thrill
When caught in a lie, lie some more
If someone confronts you about lying, call them a liar
Swear you don’t lie
Tell the person who caught you lying that the things that happened never happened. (Gas light them)
3. If you want something, pay for it, buy it, borrow it, ask for it politely, put in on your wish list, or do without it if you can’t get it.
If you do want to be a narcissist…
Take it.
Grab it.
Steal it.
Yell until someone gives it to you.
Your partner’s dinner? Scoop it off their plate. Your dad’s remote control? Grab it out of his hands. Your child’s toy? Take it and watch them cry. A car? Hot wire it.
More to come….