Tonight, I have a personal story of why I am currently not speaking up against a narcissist. There is a narcissist in my work situation right now that is making a lot of people miserable, but also charming some others. This person is aggressive, demanding, and entitled with double standards galore. She is a bully! She just berates people until they back down, then she goes around mocking them. This is definitely an overt narcissist–no hiding here!
Fortunately, it’s not a personal situation and she doesn’t have power to fire anyone at work, so mostly people just start avoiding her. But she’s pretty much a workplace terrorist!
So often, I have been incredibly frustrated that people KNOW my ex narcopath bullies others or has bullied them, but they keep their mouths shut instead of supporting the victims. Now I know why. If I say something to or about this work bully, she’s going to come after me, and I do not want that. She could screw things up for me when I am trying to get a promotion. I don’t want to risk that one bit. I hate to be a hypocrite, because it annoys me when others do not stand up, but this time, I fear that I am not ready to say something. I’m hoping she’s such an obvious bully that she takes herself down. At least she’s not one of those really sneak narcs that hides the bad side in public. I am going to trust that everyone can see what a jerk she is quite easily, even if they don’t know the term “narcissist.”
One of my dear friends is facing an even worse narcissist sociopath in her workplace. My friend works with at-risk, special needs children, and her boss is very sadistically hurting the childrens’ educational plans in a way that goes against state laws and hurts the kids’ progress. Multiple teachers are upset, but their manager is willing to hurt the kids to keep controlling the teachers. Sociopaths are like that–they don’t care who they hurt, even if they are hurting themselves–as long as they show their targets that they will control no matter what. My friend and her colleagues are taking legal action and I hope for the best for them. She’s really up against someone dangerous. In fact, for those of you who have read Martha Stout’s The Sociopath Next Door, this manager is a very close likeness to the fake therapist in that book–the one who destroyed her patients’ lives for fun.
Fortunately, the work bully I’m dealing with is not as smart as a sociopath and cannot endanger innocent victims in the same way.
2 thoughts on “Fear of narcissist retaliation is making me afraid to speak up”
This is wrong and allows evil to flourish. The “bully” only ever does what he/she is allowed to get away with. “The only thing that evil needs to flourish is for good men to do nothing”.
I agree! We teach our children about bullying and its effects. So why is it ok in the workplace? Allowing the bully to run roughshod everyone only makes it continue. It should be stopped! Who can work in a place when your sense of safety and peace of mind is threatened. It’s unfair and HR’s should do something to counteract this type of destructive behavior.