When it comes to abuse, “nice” doesn’t always mean innocent

If someone tells you they are being abused by a sociopath or psychopath, and your first reaction is to think they are lying because the alleged abuser is such a nice, great person...  Think again.  Superficial charm is one of the top criteria for both disorders. It's quite likely that the anti-social predator will appear nicer, more honest, and more interesting than the person who is being abused.

 

If someone tells you they are being abused by a sociopath or psychopath, and your first reaction is to think they are lying because the alleged abuser is such a nice, great person…

Think again.

Superficial charm is one of the top criteria for both disorders. It’s quite likely that the anti-social predator will appear nicer, more honest, and more interesting than the person who is being abused.

2 thoughts on “When it comes to abuse, “nice” doesn’t always mean innocent

  1. I hope you realize that for many of us, YOU are that frnied and sounding board!I am lucky enough to have 2 other frnieds that have really helped me through this experience. One because she is experiencing a similar situation, the other because she is just an incredibly non-judgmental person and total romantic at heart!:) I don’t know what I would have done without them.I cannot agree enough with you how damaging those well-meaning frnieds can be!!! No sarcasm there, they really do mean well and only just want to look out for your best interests and HATE seeing you get hurt. In my case, many of my frnieds, who adore me and think I deserve the best that love has to offer, were so proud of me for finally leaving my husband (they knew I wasn’t happy) and then I fall hopelessly in love and become obsessed with a married stranger. They were like, Really?!? She’s probably driving you insane as well as herself. A few words on that. I most certainly was driving my frnieds insane. However I was also really struggling with my own grip on reality and my life had been taken over by this infatuation. Of course that is what drove me to research everything I could about love, soulmates, infatuation, obsession, people who fall for married people, and finally after many months lead me to TS/mirror spirit theory.Unfortunately in the beginning when I was attempting to share this experience with my frnieds, their feedback was actually causing me to go MORE insane. Making me doubt the strongest intuition I have ever felt not a good thing!Fortunately I caught on quick and decided to keep it to myself, poured it all out in a journal instead. I knew that there was no way they could understand, and the contrast between their perspective and mine was so great that, in the end, it helped me see the truth. But it felt like a dirty secret. Their advice almost sent me over the edge before I realized I had to go it alone on this journey!Wish I had this article then!

  2. I am always telling people that just because someone is sugary sweet does not mean they are a good person,i am constantly being asked why i divorced my ex because he was a lovely person, the truth is he was a total fake, and got up to all sorts when he thought he could get away with it, i am a very out spoken person but have good morals and am the same person day or night in a crowd or on my own i do the right thing,but because my ex was so sugary sweet and i was not every one thought i was the lucky one, i now am very aware when some one seems too sweet to be wholesome, i think you have to deal with someone like this before you realize they exist and how they manipulate every one

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