Even after I cut contact with my narcopath abuser and blocked him every way I possibly could, he still knew every move I made. His enablers were very dedicated to stalking me, and every time I thought I knew who was reporting back, I would block them. Still, he knew everything I did. I came to realize that when you are dealing with a very charming sociopath who is determined to convince good people that he is a victim…he’s not going to stop. I cut my Facebook friends list to nearly no one. I left most of the groups and pages where I used to post and I blocked anyone who seemed the least bit friendly with the abuser.
The narcopath used the reality that I was trying to protect myself from him to tell everyone I was crazy and mad and had a bad attitude. He told people I was blocking so much because I was a narcissist and didn’t want to hear other points of view. Some of his flying monkeys started saying that clearly I was the problem because I disliked everyone.
I never bothered to put them straight, but the truth is, if I was the problem–if I was the sociopath–*I* would have been the one they believed. I would have been the one campaigning and charming them. I would have been the one who felt free to be friends with anyone I wanted. I would have been the one recruiting supporters and getting their attention.
Instead, because I was the victim and had reason to fear,
I was making my world smaller to protect myself.
2 thoughts on “The narcissist socializes with no fear while the victim pulls away”
Good post. Thank you.
This. When some flying monkeys accuse me of being a sociopath, I thought to myself: “If I was a sociopath, then I would have been able to convince you and even make you treat my family like trash.” The difference between a sociopath and a normal person is how the sociopath knows how to convince you easily, especially what they say is very convincing and doesn’t seem off until you think about it critically. A normal person, especially one who is in need of help and is in despair, is not easily convincing to someone and that someone has to ask for more information from the person. I found that when sociopaths tell you something, they usually say the whole thing, even sneakily answering questions that is in your mind (which is baffling, how on earth can they do that not only once, but 8 times? And the fact they managed to answer it if not completely, but convincingly that it doesn’t make you question them is alarming). The person listening to the sociopath wouldn’t realize something is off by the way they talked until they recalled it and found something off.