How the police and ignorance about domestic violence hurt abuse victims

One of the worst things an abuse victim has to deal with is the invalidation, disbelief and ignorant behaviors from institutions that supposedly exist to help protect us. Too many of us have horror stories about calling the police for help and not getting it…or worse. Revictimization rates are extremely high, and police officers have … Read more

People who have been abused once are exponentially more likely to be abused again

It is a sad reality that once a person has been abused or assaulted they are MORE likely to be abused or assaulted again. Revictimization rates are very high. People who have been abused repeat patterns. They also develop vulnerable body language or naive coping patterns that make them more susceptible to further abuse. And … Read more

There may be two or more sides to a story, but not every side is true

As I’ve tried to tell my story to get legal help dealing with the narcopath abuser, I’ve heard many platitudes that may apply to a normal break-up, but do not apply to a break-up with a predator. I’ve heard comments like “there are two sides to every story with the truth somewhere in between,” or … Read more

Spiritual warfare as an explanation for narcissistic patterns and families

Narcissistic abusers are common in society even though not everyone uses the term “narcissist.” Many classic movies feature a war of good against evil with an antagonist who shows clear narcissistic or sociopathic traits. For example, Gollum in Lord of the Rings, or Palpatine in Star Wars. These characters are manipulative, sneaky, two-faced, and evil. … Read more

My mother never stopped trying to destroy my relationships

I’m nearing 40 and I have nightmares about my mother. How sad is that? They aren’t about physical violence; they are about the emotional smearing I’ve lived through my whole life. In my nightmares, my mom has always convinced her relatives that I’m a horrible brat. She’s told them untrue things about me and they … Read more