It is a sad reality that once a person has been abused or assaulted they are MORE likely to be abused or assaulted again. Revictimization rates are very high. People who have been abused repeat patterns. They also develop vulnerable body language or naive coping patterns that make them more susceptible to further abuse. And honestly, most of them don’t stop to wonder why–at least not at first. After years of therapy, and reliving my abusive childhood when I married an abuser, I started my journey to change myself and my life after recognizing the patterns. It doesn’t happen over night. It’s literally been years for me, but I know far more than I did before and I’m learning to put up boundaries. On my recovery blog, I wrote a post about how predators choose the people they do. It’s one of my most popular blogs by far. And it’s my life in a nutshell. Those of us who have fallen into that pattern will have a harder time escaping–mostly because outside of therapists, society doesn’t understand it.
I wanted to share the link here again because I know I am not the only one who has struggled with patterns of abuse.
http://www.lifeasyoumakeit.com/wordpress1/2015/03/20/why-do-predators-pick-the-people-they-pick-and-why-do-they-avoid-other-people/
This is very true. I was a victim of domestic violence and then workplace bullying years later. It took me a long time to figure out why, rebuild my confidence and then learn how to stand up for myself or walk away if the situation persists. Great post Joanna!