Readers may have noticed that I try to be careful about mentioning God as a healer for abuse. I do this on purpose because I don’t want to alienate readers of different religious beliefs. (And I won’t touch politics!) Also, as I’ve dealt with the abuse, the aftermath and the smear campaign, sometimes I got very angry with God…and for a while, I stopped calling myself a Christian.
But the reality is, I’ve been a Christian my whole life, (except for that couple of years when I was fighting with God,) and eventually, I came back to what I’ve always known. My faith is stronger now than it has ever been, and in fact, it is more real to me than it ever was before. It is the only way I have gotten through many days.
Another thing people might have noticed is that I post a whole lot less than I used to. There were times I was going through such hell that I could write 5 or 6 posts in a day and still have a ton of ideas. That has worn out as I have become happier and have reached what I believe is my final stage of healing.
This is all due to renewing my faith in the past year, and really opening my mind to it. I am no longer trying to get God to do what I want to do, but I am trying to get myself to do what God wants me to do. It turns out, life is a lot easier when you stop trying to control the outcome!
I have had some wonderful epiphanies this year thanks to joining a fantastic church, relying on prayer instead of myself, reading scripture, and reading a number of inspirational books. I want to start sharing some of the books, verses, and ideas that have really given me hope and faith in recent months. For those who aren’t of the same religion as I am, don’t worry! I don’t intend to make my whole blog about God; however, I am going to create a new category to separate the spiritual posts from the others. I hope they help those who are interested, and don’t offend those who aren’t. 🙂
2 thoughts on “My journey of healing from abuse as a Christian”
Sometime the narcissist tries to damage your faith, but if you were chosen as a target many times its because you’re a good person already. I had my faith tested when my narcopath recruited my last pastors, they too began to speak on stage about things happening in my home. the intrusive narcs has been invading my privacy, somehow convince the pastors this punishment is deserved when i rejected the narc. Pastors and priest are human men as well. they became anger i didn’t conform to the abuse and when using God and Christ to guilt me i realize church is just a building. we dont need it to know God or hear him. God didnt do this, man did. God maybe teaching them. the demonic assignment are sent by Satan not God. most likely you were always with God, we tend to be angry at all things at one point. but when i educated myself i realize narcos want us to lose faith so they can isolate you even from God who knows us better. Narcs believe they are God, you should Obey and become obedient. The pastor who allow themselves to believe a man because he was a man and go against the female, they are tested not us. they also said i should be obedient and obey, it seem more as if they are saying obey them, because they wanted me to return to a church of people they made shun me. I already have a husband and even he doesn’t treat me this way. with him im free to be me and he supplies me with great joy. my narcs are ex friends, family and even a son born due to a rape. so im getting it from many places. my mother accepted a man who molested me for years, i became pregnant at 11 years old they gave the baby up for adoption. i met him later after 23 years and i gave him to much trying to show love and not judge him after 8 years and my family recruiting him because he didn’t know me well. you would think im angry with God. Im am and allowed to be with man who do wicked things not God.
I no longer want anything to do with church ever, its not the building but brainwashed people who follow man not God. God and church is in your heart. Never allow man to convince you, you have to do church to be saved or good. believe in all religions and chose to just love God no distractions. Thye use Jesus to harass me. But as i do believe in Christ, i learned god is in everything and i and many are awakening to the fact. praying straight to God works best for me. Funny how pastors who believe they are helping for God are actuality using God for Satan. Anyone who supports a woman or man be stalked and justifies its God, isnt working for God. Narcissist choose vocations that have authority over people. MANY OF THESE VOCATIONS HAVE GOOD PEOPLE AS WELL. SUCH AS…
Anything that requires people following your command.
THANKS, GOD BLESS
Wonderful!! It has been my Faith and relationship with God that not only led me to see that I had been married to an abusive narcissist for 24 years, but to begin the healing process. God is the one who truly heals.