Narcissist mothers will make your wedding hell

Narcissist mothers are emotional terrorists, but they seem especially obsessed with destroying their daughters and daughters-in-law. Your mother is supposed to be someone you can trust, but narcissist mothers start female rivalries that are worse than anything you will ever experience from the mean girls at school. They will become your biggest bullies. They do not see you as a daughter to love and cherish. They see you as another woman to compete with. They will destroy every happy moment in your life.

The narcissist mother believes her daughter only exists as an extension of herself. You aren’t a child; you are an accessory. Everything is about HER. My mother literally told me that my wedding day was HER big day. Not mine. HERS. I was bullied and received hate mail from her enabling sisters because I planned my wedding my way.

Sadly, as hateful as they were, I got off easy…because I eloped. (I received hate mail for that too.) During pretty much the entire planning process for my wedding, I was receiving nasty e-mails for not doing things my mother’s way. My then fiance and I decided the only way to keep her from showing up and entirely ruining the day was to elope. I don’t regret that decision one bit! I can only imagine the show she would have put on had I invited her to my…no wait, HER big day!

Many women feel obligated to allow their mothers to be a part of their wedding days. Normal families can do this, and it’s sad that daughters of narcissistic mothers cannot expect love and congratulations from their mothers; however, you cannot expect normal, healthy behavior from a narcissist mother. And if you’ve gotten so far that you are reading this page…you probably have a narcissist mother!

A controlling narc will make every step of planning a stressful event and she will make the big day a day for her to show off and bring you down to lift herself up. Unless you have boundaries of steel, and are really amazing at letting insults and attacks roll off your back, your wedding day, which should be one of the most joyful days of your life, will be a stressful day that ends in tears and regrets.

If you are trying to keep your narcissist mother involved in your wedding because you want her to behave like a real mother…it won’t work. If you feel like you have to be nice or keep the peace, realize that it is okay to say “no.” Please don’t let your mother take control of your big day, because it is something that will bring you much stress and years of regret…as well as horror stories to tell after the fact. That is just not fair to you.

Without strict boundaries, a narcissist mother, (or mother-in-law to be,) will make your wedding day a circus.

3 thoughts on “Narcissist mothers will make your wedding hell

  1. I had a narcissistic (Narcopath actually) Father in Law, and he did ruin my wedding, and the recital and recital dinner trying to control who could come and who could not. Fortunately for me, I eventually realized my husband was exactly the same person as his Father, just a younger version, and I escaped the hell. Now I am free! although I do still have to endure their Hell war waged against me! Totally worth it to be FREE!!!!

  2. HA. This is their prominant feature.
    My N-MIL called aside her son, my husband a day before our wedding when he was welcoming his friends for the next day and started telling him how nasty he was and what all she was made to go through due to him, right from having the “longest labor” to deliver him- when she walked miles just to deliver lunch box to his school, ran from doctor to doctor when he was sick and how he had rejected her breakfast during school days. My husband was so guilty of these stories that it lasted with him during the wedding and days that followed. During our wedding reception, in between guests arrival, he kept telling me “I have not treated my mother well. I am a bad son”.
    She informed the whole world that she gifted me a dimond necklace and two expensive sets of dresses with all her savings and large heartedness. She told every guest about the gifts so much that my husband had to pay cash to her within a week of our wedding “just-like-that”. The truth is the necklace never came to me since it was “lost” the last minute of giving me and the two dresses are EXACTLY the same – colour, stitching and every thread. My husband said “its okay now! dont tell anyone”.. no one knows about this after 8 years of my marriage…

  3. I get married in two weeks and have only just realised (aged 37) that my mother is a narcissist (every item on this list applies After 3 months of the worst emotional abuse I’ve ever experienced, I finally snapped and told my mother she is not welcome at our wedding. She had tried to control every aspect of the planning, sulked and tanted when we disagreed with her, criticised our choices, complained we got engaged at the wrong time and used emotional blackmail to get me to agree to things. The final straw was her buying my teenaged sister an ivory lace Monsoon wedding dress to wear as my bridesmaid, without consulting me, then claiming I was not entitled to get as upset as I did and refusing to change it. I finally realised I could never please her and I deserved to have only people who support us and love us at the wedding. It’s very raw and terrifying but amazingly freeing too.

Leave a Reply to jenniewrennie Cancel reply