A few months ago, I encountered a bit of an uncomfortable situation in the comments on my blog. I have a spam filter that catches odd comments, and I check it every few days. One day, there was a comment from an anonymous woman who was upset that her narcissist ex was posting on narcissism blogs–including mine–and claiming to be the victim of her behavior. Uh oh. Now what? My narcopath ex has done the same to me. He’s even in some narcissistic abuse support groups. In fact, one of his worst flying monkeys CREATED a support group on Facebook for him and his other flying monkeys!!! On the other hand he, (and that flying monkey,) have followed me around to various support groups claiming he is the victim. The flying monkey finally outed herself by picking fights and triangulating several admins in a big narcissist support group, but until then, none of the admins of the various groups knew who to believe.
So here I was in a situation where one of these people commenting on my blog was probably an abuser and one of them was probably the target, but I couldn’t be sure which one was which. I didn’t want to enable the narcissist, but I didn’t want to neglect the target, so I just deleted all of their posts. There was no way I wanted to take a side and risk taking the wrong side. I know how much damage is done when a clueless third party takes the wrong side and stands against the target. I’ve had it done to me too many times!
Flash forward a few months, and one of those people came back to leave a comment. But, it wasn’t a comment about the ex. It was a comment harassing me because they didn’t like something I posted about abuse. Funny how those narcs get all touchy if there is an insinuation that they aren’t perfect, right? Anyway, I deleted the foul comment, but I guess now I know which one was the narc!
Don’t worry…they ALWAYS out themselves. A narcissist is a narcissist and will never change. They can watch and regulate their behavior, but one day they explode and attack. If someone takes the time to send me unsolicited hate mail, that’s a pretty big clue!
So now my mystery is solved!
Funny how that works. I have been the victim of abuse my entire life. My father is off the charts for creative abuse. A few years ago he told me he had a 30 year old girlfriend. He was 82 at the time. My mother had a stroke just months earlier and they were still married. It left me in a horrible position. My mother thought he was cheating and asked me. I was relieved as I was struggling with a solution. It not my job to lie so I told her. My father felt I betrayed him. Firstly it was inappropriate for him to cheat. Secondly telling me was exceedingly out of line. And somehow in his mind I am the only one who has done anything wrong. Along with telling me he was cheating he repeatedly (in front of my teenage children) stated he hoped my mother would die. He is prone to violence as my back can tell you. I have had over three years of him accusing me of all kinds of things. At one point he stated in an affidavit I had gone to Mexico taken his credit card and spent $58000.00. Sadly for him I had no passport during the time the charges were made. He had been billing me through one of his businesses as a shareholder. $700,000.00 ! I’m not a shareholder. I have never been given an accounting for the charges. I did find out that he billed me for the grad gift he gave my son. I emailed accountants advising the billings were fraudulent. I got a call from police weeks later claiming I was reported for extortion. I didn’t ask for anything but the books be factual. Police treated me like garbage until they saw the balance attributed to me and legal documents that I’m not a shareholder. I had a receipt for my son’s grad gift which was billed directly to my father. This is the person who was suppose to protect me, guide me, and support me through life’s challenges. There are many tell tale signs of naracists if you’re not sure look at their relationships with family. My brothers are not better than their father. My personal perplexing observation….. my father and one brother go to church. As if God has a blind spot to their behaviour outside of church. My other brother tried to get me to do drugs. He said it would bring me closer to God. I have drug allergies. When I told him that he said I was narrow minded. I’ll take narrow minded over dead. Wrong kind of closed to God. And getting these people out of your world is not as easy as telling them to leave you alone! Good people wish others a good life. Naracists have to be the “winner” with a loser in the scenario. Children are possessions for their use and abuse. No one ever is as good as them. And my personal favourite …… God loves them more in their minds.
Be happy, be safe, surround yourself with goodness.
Wow!
Same here, my ex narcopath synthetically took my identity and so to speak became me by technology hiding!
He is certified in phone switches and rerouted all types of calls ; therefore, preventing communication with me.
He the did loan fraud and I suspect to pay for his Ovi issues which I just became aware of!
Another thing : some –second life game …. Idk Ido not play online games ….so after 27 years and working my bum off in restaurants and watching children and raising my three and supporting while he advanced hus career and I brought my veteran benefit into our marriage ….
This one was covert like DB Cooper !
He also hid all in other names and took by forgery and document fraud!
I believe that the narc mentioned that went to lengths to turn his crap in the victim happened!
I have been subjected to that as well….
Funny we believe Justice people are versed in recognizing and adding up documentation ; yet, in my case they were victims of his act of the crippled victim , when in fact he txt our daughter he has mental illness!
Sad and insidious of anyone to continue such evil harm !
Glad that the malicious hate post did not phase the good that this blog does for all that have encountered the horrific and diabolical evil beneath the masks!
Peace!