Are the Flying Monkeys Really That Bad?

narcuglytruthjackolantern Even though I have blocked my sociopath ex and all of his flying monkeys in every way possible, we still have common acquaintances, and I still sometimes see references to one of them. It usually startles me, and I have to remind myself not to post what I really think about that person, even though in my head, I’m thinking the person is complete jerk!

I have posted many times about flying monkeys, because they continued to make my life hell long after I had cut contact with the sociopath. The damage they did for years was more traumatic than the brief, psychotic marriage. My posts about flying monkeys get way more views than my post about narcissists, so I’m going to guess many other people are dealing with the same issue. The flying monkeys continue the abuse even after you escape the abuser!

The other day, a casual Facebook friend posted about how wonderful and kind and thoughtful one of the flying monkeys was. I was shocked! This woman had supported my abuser–the man who attacked me and my children–stood up for him, bad mouthed me, spread rumors about me, and worse. I knew she was a nurse, which was even more disturbing. It is really scary to think of a nurse who lacks empathy. Can you imagine how much damage they would do? So I sat here reading that post and having a very hard time reconciling the woman who cyber bullied me, (without ever having met me,) with the woman who could be especially kind to others. Frankly, while my sociopath ex would be polite when others were watching, he would NEVER go out of his way to notice someone and do something kind for them. So how could this woman be so cruel and kind to others? It really led me to re-evaluate the way I see the monkeys. Because honestly, I pretty much despise them.

This monkey had noticed that the other person was depressed and posting some depressing thoughts online, so she took the time out to get him a personalized gift. How strange. When I was depressed, anxious, dealing with PTSD and feeling a bit suicidal, she took the chance to kick me when I was down. How could this be the same person?

Then it hit me. Maybe she is an okay person. She wasn’t the worst of the monkeys. She supported the ex, but wasn’t as rabid about bullying me. Maybe she was genuinely fooled. I spoke out about the extreme abuse from the sociopath, and she had only seen his short-term public side, so maybe she really did think he was innocent and I was the bully. She was dead wrong, but I tried to see thing from her side. I truly don’t believe a narcissist can be empathetic, and yet she had been empathetic with this other person. Also, I know that after standing up for my ex, this woman had gone on to date a notorious womanizing sociopath that we both knew…and got burned. Maybe she learned her lesson?

I chatted about it with another friend who knows the truth about my sociopath ex, and has seen it for years, but also knew this flying monkey woman. His opinion was that she was genuinely fooled, and was normally a thoughtful person. He believed she was a nurse because she really did have empathy, but unfortunately, her empathy was misguided when she sided with my abuser. I guess that does make sense. We all know abusers fooled us!

Anyway, I usually think very, very poorly of the flying monkeys, and I still think many of them are sociopaths themselves–bullies who are happy to attack a vulnerable person. However, thinking about this situation, especially after having more time to heal and see things more clearly when I’m not under attack, I was able to understand better that maybe not all of the flying monkey are totally evil. Maybe some are people who were just fooled and think they are standing up for the wronged party. Let’s just hope that these people one day see the truth.

7 thoughts on “Are the Flying Monkeys Really That Bad?

  1. Oh Joanna come on. Don’t minimize flying monkeys. They are as vile as the narcissist. They hang around them because are exactly like them. They love malicious gossip and lies and only hear what they want to hear. I have told them of the abuse I’ve suffered but they told me not to talk like that.

    • Actually, there are two kinds of flying monkeys: the fooled and the willing (who actually knows the nature of the sociopath). The reason why some tell you to shut up is because the sociopath has managed to tell them lies that convinced them that you’re evil and that you should never be believed. I was one of them, I naively believed the lies and smear campaign someone told me and I treated the “target” (who is actually the victim) badly. After I broke up with perpetrator, I started to realize that those things were all lies after much introspection and seeing how some people act the same way I did to a victim and realized that the person I scoffed at was actually innocent.

  2. Even though I was not cyber-bullied by the the flying monkeys, most…scratch that….all of our “friends” sided with the narcopath. Of course, he had been on smear campaign for months before he finally left and they chose to believe him. One such monkey and her husband were told ~ as I’m sure they all were ~ the lie that I kicked the narcopath out. When I was confronted with that, I told the truth. He abandoned me, leaving only a note for me when I returned home to find him packed up and gone. Still, they doubted me. At that point, I blocked every one of these people and moved on. I have no interest in defending against his lies.

  3. I am being threatened,stalked and harassed by an ex and her monkeys. What is the best way to stop this? I have reached out to my exes family but they are no help. Please help,thank you,Jenni Paul

  4. I do not like the flying monkeys, obviously. They have been vicious to me. But I truly believe they are completely deceived by the narc. Some are probably narcs themselves but I believe most THINK they are being a good friend to the narc. Remember, the narc is a MASTER manipulator! Feel sorry for the monkeys, they will give an account on the day of judgement and find out that they too were victimized by the narc, just in another way..

  5. Narcopaths weaken and destroy the fabric of society ~ wilfully. Their actions are deliberate, against the well being of the society. One person of conscience is the model for the collective, and once the guards against wholesale harm are compromised, manipulation corrupts the structural integrity of the society.
    Typically emotionally abusive behaviour: the victim is vilified, the victimizer is portrayed as the victim, and the victim is not listened to, his or her perspective is never given a chance even to be heard, let alone sympathized with.

    “For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul.” Psalm 35:7
    And this verse is about the ENablers and Flying Monkeys: Proverbs 25:26 A righteous man falling down before the wicked is as a troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring. The enablers and monkies will be held just as accountable and guilty as the actual workers of iniquity (narcissists) on Judgement Day because THEY are the wheels that all the “bicycle” to travel, if you know what I mean. If NONE of society would condone the narcissists evil and refuse to listen to their lies and gossip, they would either implode on themselves and maybe take out the trash for us (commit suicide) or repent and become an normal human being.

    Ominously, the evil here in the West have already managed to pass hate crime laws against their scapegoated victims. It’s not an “imaginary divide.” The Bible tells us that there is natural animosity between two seeds of mankind, those of fallen angel DNA (nephilim) and pure blooded humans. (genesis 3:15). Narcissists are not fully human, they are predatory and parasitical. It’s just the way it is..

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