When I first escaped from the narcopath, I tried to maintain my social ties. After all, he was the problem and many of our acquaintances knew he had a history of raging and bullying. I stayed in a common Facebook group and tried to stand my ground. One day, a new girl joined the group and introduced herself. She had some things in common with the narc, so I knew he’d at least try to hit on her.
Very quickly, she began posting things that were extremely vulnerable, and by that time, I’d come far enough to recognize that her poor boundaries were going to get her in trouble. She came into a group of strangers and started revealing childhood abuse, rape, and other serious problems almost immediately. It reminded me of when I used to talk openly to new people about the violence in my childhood, and I realized quickly that the narcissist would jump on her. Sure enough, even though I had him blocked, I saw enough people responding to him or quoting him in the conversation, that I knew he’d inserted himself to be “helpful” and show her around a bit. I actually felt sorry for her, because he targeted her very hard. I and others tried to warn her, but he manipulated her easily, and she turned out to be his most vicious flying monkey. Her behavior was so severe, that I sought legal advice, and questioned whether or not to sue her for libel and slander. She didn’t just gossip, but she smeared me and lied about me as hard as she could all over social media on a daily basis. We have never met. She may have been victimized as a child, but unfortunately, she grew up to be a sociopath.
My ex is extremely promiscuous so he hits on pretty much all women, single or not; however, he has a type. And that type tends to be women with poor boundaries and a history of previous abuse. Unfortunately, people who were abused once are highly likely to be abused again. He latches on to them and pretends to be very caring and helpful. He pretends to be a good guy who isn’t like the one who hurt them before. He’s so good at his game, that he easily catches many previous abuse victims, even those who have become educated enough to look out for abusers.
A couple years down the line, another one joined the group. Newly separated from her husband and looking for a good time. She didn’t bother to hide the fact that she was an alcoholic and was desperate for sex. She repeatedly told inappropriate stories of meeting men in bars for one night stands. Again, like the other woman, she had no filter to hide her private life and problems that might attract a predator. I said to myself that she would definitely be hearing from the narcopath! She soon messaged me saying she was thinking about meeting up with my ex for sex because he kept calling her, but that she had been warned that he was an abuser. I warned her very clearly, and she claimed to understand. Then she blocked me and started smearing me as a flying monkey. Recently, someone who is concerned about her behavior messaged me to ask just how dangerous my ex was, because she is currently sleeping with him. Again, I warned the third party. They haven’t blocked me yet.
I have since left that group, but have friends who are friends with people in that group, so I happen to see people in other forums or on private posts, etc…. Another new girl showed up, and was very candid about her depression and her miserable marriage as well as her desire to cheat on her husband because she doesn’t want to divorce him. Again, I realized that my ex was going to target her. Any time a woman shows that she has no boundaries and is in a bad place, he’s there to “help.”
Wouldn’t you know it, this woman started stalking my posts and insulting me every time I commented on something? I had never posted anything to her or engaged with her. And surprise surprise, she’s in the same town where my ex travels frequently because of his legal/criminal case that is ongoing!
A few weeks ago, hours after my ex canceled yet another visit with my child saying he had to be in court, this woman posted in a group asking how to get in touch with someone from another state if you didn’t know their address and their cell phone had died. She said her friend was traveling to see her and she couldn’t get a hold of him. My instincts strongly told me that this was the reason the ex canceled his visit with my son, but I’m not sure. I do know that he frequently lies to women about where he lives, and he will not give out a real address. I replied with a comment saying that if someone didn’t give you their address or how to get a hold of them, they might not be a very good friend. I was trying to give her a huge hint just in case my hunch was right. She immediately deleted her post. All weekend she continued to make nasty comments to me on anything I replied to someone else. It’s a safe bet she’s the latest target and upcoming flying monkey. I had never interacted with her in any way when she started specifically insulting me every time I posted anything. Why else would a stranger with only a handful of mutual friends want to randomly stalk my posts and say nasty things to me? I’ve been away from narcopath long enough to know why these attacks from strangers start up! So far, I haven’t blocked her, because I think the best bet is simply to ignore her attacks.
Narcissists choose people for many reasons, but revealing your innermost struggles to strangers on the internet is a surefire way to get a predator to target you. Now when I see women doing this, and I know their posts can be seen by the narcopath, my gut tells me they are next. So far, I’ve been right. And they each have turned to smearing or targeting me, which is pretty much proof that the narcissist is in their ear.
Any time you start getting nasty and targeted comments from people you’ve never talked to, there is probably a reason, and it’s most likely the narcissist smearing them to you so they are angry and wanting to punish you on behalf of the lying narcissist.
If you think about the reasons the narcissist targeted you, you may start to recognize your old self, or old vulnerabilities in other people. Once you understand the predator, you can figure out who they will pick next and why strangers are suddenly bullying you. I’m definitely seeing a pattern here!