When a narcissist keeps you hostage by controlling the finances

When I was married to my first narcissist ex–“Narc-light,” I remember looking around the house where we lived together, and thinking “every single thing in this house except for my clothes, toiletries and some books is all his. Wouldn’t it be nice to feel like an adult and be in control of my own life?” … Read more

Did you make a fool of yourself trying to get your narcissist back after they discarded you?

I did. Well, the first time I did. By the second time I met a narcissist, I had started to gain some healthy boundaries and I kicked him out of my life when I knew he was discarding┬áme. But the first time? Before I had any clue what a narcissist was or how they acted? … Read more

Narcissists collect people, but aren’t actually friends with their “friends.”

Long before I knew what a narcissist was, I was seeing very confusing behaviors from the narcissists in my life. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on why it was wrong. One area that I found strange was the way my narcissist mother, and later my narcissist ex-husband treated the … Read more

Narcissists often target people who make easy scapegoats

I’ve had a theory for a while, that narcissists will often target people who have some problem that will make them an easy scapegoat. After all, if the victim has an obvious “deficiency,” it will be easier to pin all blame on the victim. Then, the abusive narcissist can pretend to be a victim and … Read more

Be careful about calling out the narcissist too soon

One thing I’ve learned in dealing with a narcopath, is that when you point out their bad behavior, it rarely stops the bad behavior, but it does alert them that something is wrong with it. Narcissists don’t care about doing something that is wrong, but they do care about how people see them, so if … Read more

My first relationship with a narcissist destroyed part of me forever

You know, we are supposed to believe that everything gets better again post-narcissist, and that is mostly true; however, I feel like a part of my childish dreams died for good–a bit of idealism, belief in fairy-tales, hope for a soulmate…all kinds of romantic ideas. A therapist once told me that I would heal, but … Read more

Narcissists have a string of crazy exes…but sometimes the victims do too

Earlier I saw a comment that I’ve seen many times in support groups and it inspired me to make a post: I often see advice saying that if a person tells you that they’ve had multiple crazy exes, you should avoid them because they are the problem. There is definitely truth to this. A narcissist … Read more

An extreme example of courts and public opinion abusing a woman for speaking up

There is a growing problem in society with courts putting parents’ “rights” ahead of kids’ rights and safety. There is also a common societal problem with the public attacking those who speak out and try to protect their children by calling them “crazy.” (It’s usually women being called crazy.) You can see both in the … Read more