Trump as a narcissist–and how it hurts the abuse community

These days, it is popular to cast Donald Trump as a narcissist. After all, he’s loud, brazen, tactless, crude, and more. He’s a big mouth, and he’s very obviously un-likable for many people. I’ve seen people in the narcissistic abuse support community say that it is helpful for the world to see Trump and learn … Read more

The narcissist does not want you to escape or be happy

Narcissists love to make us miserable. They enjoy the control they have over our emotions when they bully us, then sometimes play nice, then bully us…. They are in complete control, and we become dependent and desperate for them to just behave themselves. Or…we quit playing their games and leave. Since we can’t change them, … Read more

Don’t Be Afraid to Hit Rock Bottom

As so many of us have learned, recovering from narcissistic abuse is not easy. It’s not a perfect path, either. There are ups and downs. There are breakthroughs and setbacks. It takes years. Sometimes you can feel great for a while, then BOOM! the narcissist notices and makes sure to restart the harassment and smear … Read more

What the court system has taught me about domestic violence

I haven’t been posting much lately because I have been in a great place in life. However, this post is going to be filled with frustrations. It’s not a happy post, but it is reality. There are a lot of us out there who are living with genuine terror, PTSD, anxiety, depression and more after … Read more

Brace yourselves! Mother’s Day is coming!

It’s coming. That day that those of us with abusive, narcissistic, absent or sick mothers want to avoid. We’re already seeing ads for gifts, heartwarming stories, loving posts, memes praising mothers…and we are already being shamed, invalidated, and lectured if we point out that not all mothers are loving. Mothers are the one group that … Read more

There may be two or more sides to a story, but not every side is true

As I’ve tried to tell my story to get legal help dealing with the narcopath abuser, I’ve heard many platitudes that may apply to a normal break-up, but do not apply to a break-up with a predator. I’ve heard comments like “there are two sides to every story with the truth somewhere in between,” or … Read more

Spiritual warfare as an explanation for narcissistic patterns and families

Narcissistic abusers are common in society even though not everyone uses the term “narcissist.” Many classic movies feature a war of good against evil with an antagonist who shows clear narcissistic or sociopathic traits. For example, Gollum in Lord of the Rings, or Palpatine in Star Wars. These characters are manipulative, sneaky, two-faced, and evil. … Read more