How I learned that the courts can’t be trusted to protect raped women

A few years ago, I briefly dated someone who became extremely abusive within months. From his behavior towards me, stories I heard from others and stories he told me, I quickly realized he was definitely a narcissist and probably a sociopath as well. He was reckless, cruel, lacked empathy, was manipulative and lied a lot. … Read more

The not so sexy side of Fifty Shades of Grey–Part Five–Blinded by Sex

Don’t let sex and hormones fool you into falling “in love” with or staying with someone who is abusing you! Narcissists often depend on the power of dramatic sex to keep you hooked. In my last blog, I left off at the end of chapter 8, when Christian has just taken Ana’s virginity with very … Read more

The not so sexy side of Fifty Shades of Grey–Part Four–Lack of Consideration

A relationship where the other person is not considerate of you, your needs, your desires and your feelings is not a good relationship worth keeping. You deserve better! In my last post about Fifty Shades of Grey, I wrote about Christian’s controlling behavior over Ana–telling her how to eat and behave. This time, I will … Read more

The not so sexy side of Fifty Shades of Grey–Part Three–Control

In my last blog about Fifty Shades of Grey, I noted that Christian picked Ana partly because she had poor boundaries and seemed timid, while her stronger friend, Kate, knew immediately that he was bad news. In this blog, we move farther into the book as Christian begins controlling Ana and dictating how she should … Read more

The not so sexy side of Fifty Shades of Grey–Part Two Boundary Violations

In my first blog analyzing Fifty Shades of Grey, I related how Ana and Christian sized each other up and Ana realized she was dealing with a control freak while Christian realized he’d found an easy target. And that was just in the first chapter! The next few chapters show rapid boundary violations as Christian … Read more

The not so sexy side of Fifty Shades of Grey–Part One

I’ve been blogging a bit about Fifty Shades of Grey and how it is a negative example for “romance.” Yesterday, I gave a summary, but now I want to explain why the book is disturbing. So here I go, page by page/chapter by chapter…. All quotes come from: James, E L (2011-05-25). Fifty Shades of … Read more

Narcissists and Sociopaths–likenesses and differences

Narcissists and Sociopaths–likenesses and differences My mother and first husband were narcissists, but my second husband was a narcissist and a sociopath. Many people who deal with a narcissist are also dealing with a sociopath because a predator can be both at the same time. There is a common saying that “not all narcissists are sociopaths … Read more