Dealing with narcissists
How a person reacts to confrontation speaks volumes about narcissism
One way to tell you are dealing with an unsafe person is to look-not just at their bad behavior, but more at their reactions if they are caught or confronted. No one is perfect. Even normal people will say or do unkind things sometimes. A normal person will feel remorse and SHOW it-not just say … Read more
Why you should always report neglect or violence in a relationship…and leave
Narcissists and sociopaths confuse and jumble everything around them. They charm their ways out of trouble, they fool people, they rationalize their bad behavior in ways that seem logical…and they keep getting away with it. So many times, we put up with it for months or years before we finally speak out. Then, people don’t … Read more
A true story about head spinning gas lighting
Gaslighting. It’s one of the narcissist’s worst head games. I never even knew the word existed until I heard this song by Steely Dan in 2000: Gaslighting Abbie Gaslight Huh? I had to look it up. Turns out, the term comes from a 1938 play called Gas Light. It’s about a married man who plays around … Read more
If there’s one narcissist…there may be more. You aren’t imagining it!
Sometimes when I tell people I have narcissistic parents, narcissistic relatives, and two narcissist ex husbands, they call me crazy. They assume I’m just imagining narcissists everywhere. They think I’m exaggerating or lying. They think I am the problem. I can kind of see where they are coming from. Seriously, I know that many narcissists?! … Read more
Patience when good doesn’t win right away-Inspired by Star Wars
The other day I wrote about watching Star Wars Episodes I-III for the first time and seeing sociopathy in a main character. I often find examples of narcissism and sociopathy in movies. You know, we often feel very alone after the horrors we’ve dealt with, but there are so many examples in popular culture, that … Read more
Red flag: Sociopaths don’t want to tell you details about themselves
When I first started dating the narcopath after two years of grooming, he moved things really fast by love-bombing and mirroring me. He pretended to be everything I wanted. I introduced him to my dad pretty soon, because I thought my dad would be really proud of my choice. My dad talked to him quite … Read more
The little lies roll right off the narcissist’s tongue…and they serve a purpose
Every narcissist lies. All the time. Lies are essential to their games and the facades they create, and lies come so easily to them. I don’t even think they plan ahead or rehearse. They just open their mouths and the most beautiful, “reasonable,” and believable lies pour out. I used to see my narcissist mother … Read more
Is dealing with a narcissist spiritual warfare?
***Just a big warning: while I usually try not to post too much about religion, this is a religious post and is mostly from my general Christian point of view.*** After dealing with a sociopath for 3.5 years, I think about good and evil, right and wrong, God and Satan, and other ethical issues quite … Read more
The flip side to the smear campaign-the narcissist’s public image campaign
Many of us have endured the narcissist smear campaign. The abuser goes around projecting his or her own behavior on to us, playing victim, and trashing us to anyone who will listen in an effort to distract others from hearing the truth that we KNOW about the narc. And it works pretty well. Most people just … Read more