I say he abused me. He degraded me. He attacked and controlled me. He intimidated me. He insulted me. He hurt me badly. He almost killed me. I say he is a sociopath.
He says I’m crazy.
You say I’m a liar and a slanderer.
But what I want to know is:
If my ex is so great,
then why am I the who suffers and goes to therapy?
why am I the one who cries myself to sleep at night?
why do I fear and avoid human companionship?
why do I shrink up and feel terror at the idea of being with a man again?
why did my life change dramatically while his stayed the same?
why did I give up my social life to hide and heal?
why do I shake with fear when I have to sit in the courtroom with him?
why do I turn down every request I get for a date?
why was my trust in others crushed and destroyed?
why do I fear the future?
why do I freeze when a man compliments me?
why do I have nightmares?
why do I stay home and struggle to pay bills while he travels and refuses to pay child support?
why do I read self-help books while he goes to parties?
why do I refuse to date while he moved on within days and never felt a pang of remorse?
why does he justify his violent behavior? Why do you?
why am I the one who is careful about making new friends?
why I am I quiet and withdrawn?
why do I dread waking up in the morning?
why do I question the motives of anyone who tries to be nice to me?
Why? Because I was a good, trusting, loving, honest person who got run over and thoroughly violated by a monster with no conscience, heart or remorse. The same one who lies to you like he once did to me.