Internet memes that dismiss abuse using manipulative words

Perhaps you’ve seen this meme on Facebook. If you are like me, it made you mad! This meme is a load of crap, and it relies on the same language and rationalizations that abusers use. (In fact, I wonder about the person who wrote it….) Every single “point” here smacks of an abuser’s language and … Read more

Some things church leaders should understand about abuse

I attend a church that emphasizes the importance of family–more so than any other church I’ve ever attended. This means that, not only do I hear the regular speeches about forgiving my abusive mother, but I hear it even more, and from a religious point of view. “Families are forever.” Most of these people mean … Read more

Don’t Be Afraid to Hit Rock Bottom

As so many of us have learned, recovering from narcissistic abuse is not easy. It’s not a perfect path, either. There are ups and downs. There are breakthroughs and setbacks. It takes years. Sometimes you can feel great for a while, then BOOM! the narcissist notices and makes sure to restart the harassment and smear … Read more

How the police and ignorance about domestic violence hurt abuse victims

One of the worst things an abuse victim has to deal with is the invalidation, disbelief and ignorant behaviors from institutions that supposedly exist to help protect us. Too many of us have horror stories about calling the police for help and not getting it…or worse. Revictimization rates are extremely high, and police officers have … Read more

People who have been abused once are exponentially more likely to be abused again

It is a sad reality that once a person has been abused or assaulted they are MORE likely to be abused or assaulted again. Revictimization rates are very high. People who have been abused repeat patterns. They also develop vulnerable body language or naive coping patterns that make them more susceptible to further abuse. And … Read more

When it comes to abuse, society won’t help. You are on your own

There are some really, hideously ugly truths out there. They aren’t fair, they aren’t right and they aren’t nice…but they are true, and we have no choice but to accept that no matter how much it sickens us. The worst thing I have learned while trying to recover from terrifying abuse is that, while society … Read more

There may be two or more sides to a story, but not every side is true

As I’ve tried to tell my story to get legal help dealing with the narcopath abuser, I’ve heard many platitudes that may apply to a normal break-up, but do not apply to a break-up with a predator. I’ve heard comments like “there are two sides to every story with the truth somewhere in between,” or … Read more