I’m sure I’m not the only one who does this…. Sometimes I fantasize that the flying monkeys and silent onlookers figure out the truth about the narcissist and apologize to me. Not all of the narcissist’s enablers have bullied me like the monkeys have; some of them just didn’t believe me, or shunned me. Many have been rude, while the worst of the flying monkeys became very vicious. Some even stalked me and my family members and posted our addresses online! One posted my financial records with some help from the narcopath. The entire experience of being smeared by a sociopath has been emotionally violent. Oh how I wish these people would see the truth!
I told my story publicly, but I never individually confronted my ex narcopath’s supporters. I figured if they were brainwashed, then nothing I said would make a difference. But sometimes, I feel like writing some of them an angry letter to tell them just how clueless they are! I hold off because I know it’s not going to help, so all I have is my fantasy that some day, I will be vindicated. I try really hard to believe their opinions don’t matter, but justice and truth would be nice.
I have had some of the non-abusive onlookers apologize. Some of them started thinking critically about what I said, and recognized the ex-narcopath’s patterns. Some of them contacted me to let me know they were sorry that they turned on me during the worst of it. What a blessing those messages are! I believe that, in the future, I will continue to receive such messages from people who are genuinely good-hearted and are paying attention to the narcopath’s behavior. Some of the people who shunned me or avoided me were probably innocent and naive, and thought they really were taking the innocent party’s side.
But the flying monkeys? I don’t expect to ever hear an apology or see a change in them. Even when the narcopath hurts some of them, they won’t get it. Why? Because the type of people who would viciously and cruelly attack a woman without any basis in reality–stalking and pursuing me when I was barely surviving–are screwed up people no matter what. They were probably narcissistic or sociopathic themselves–bullies at best. Small-hearted people who were glad to latch on to anyone who would make an easy victim. Small-minded people who were easily controlled by a more dominant predator.
I have faith that the confused people with good intentions might feel bad about the way they treated me on behalf of an abuser, but my experience with a smear campaign has made me quite aware of the reality of predators. Sociopaths are about 4% of the population according to the book The Sociopath Next Door
I recently put my story up on Facebook after someone revealed my address to the narcissist mother. A cousin who was friends with her, but never talked to her after the divorce, sent me a message, afraid she had somehow done it just by having NM as a Facebook friend and kept apologizing and said if she’d known that, she would’ve deleted NM sooner. I assured her that she didn’t give any info to NM, and told her that it’d been nearly 4 years, it wasn’t fair for my side of the story to be kept quiet. I was grateful so many people believed me, when I was a kid and a teen, nobody believed me, and she made me afraid to talk. It was warming to feel that support.