To the flying monkeys who have never met me, but attack me for the narcissist

Do you think the narcissist isn't using you? Think again!

Do you think the narcissist isn’t using you? Think again!

If you have a narcissist ex, you know that they are extremely charming and trick you into believing everything they say. Even if other people warn you, the narcissist has such great stories to rationalize the cruel things they have done to others. Until it starts happening to you too….

After the break-up, the narcissist is going to go on to the next woman or women and do the exact same thing. And those woman are going to hate you and believe the narcissist when he tells them you are evil and crazy. Why wouldn’t they? He’s a friendly, charming, interesting guy who is love-bombing them like crazy! He is the most romantic and adoring man they’ve ever met! Other women just haven’t been the right ones for him, poor guy. Uh huh. Remember those days?

My ex narcopath is an especially smart and charming womanizer. He has at least half a dozen women that will jump at his command and start posting attacks on me online. They begin frothing at the mouth like Pavlov’s dogs when they see my name. None of them have met me. Some of them haven’t even met him! But, while he lays low in the background, he feeds them their lines. I will never confront any of them, because I know that these people have to learn for themselves, and judging by their willingness to abuse me, they might not be capable of learning. But here’s what I would like to say to them:

Dear ladies,

I feel sorry for you. You are under the spell of someone I know to be a narcissistic, sociopathic, pathological lying predator. When you get angry and start posting lies about me online, I recognize them because I’ve heard them before…straight from his mouth and about the women before me. And yet you post them so fervently, like you are following a script. Like you’ve been brainwashed.

When you publicly posted that I was an asshole for not letting my ex meet my son, I was trying to schedule visitation, but my ex refused to respond or kept giving excuses. While you posted that I was alienating him from my son, I was reading court documents showing that he claimed to be too busy at his new job and saying he’d contact the coordinator later. While you were attacking me and saying I was destroying a father son relationship, my ex who was too busy to meet my son for the first time, posted his vacation photos from the beach. When my ex finally decided to meet my son, you congratulated him that he’d finally been able to get evil me to allow him to meet my son and congratulated him on his beautiful son. You know, the beautiful son that I’d been raising completely alone for a whole year while my ex told the visitation scheduler he was too busy working to visit? While he was telling the child-support agency he didn’t have a job and couldn’t pay? Even though these conflicting stories were documented, you didn’t care that his stories never matched up. You just believed his sad story of not being allowed to meet his son and you viciously blamed and attacked me for it. You even made fun of me for struggling to pay for bills and childcare while the ex refused to pay child-support. Of course, he lied and claimed he did pay, but I had a court print-out showing he was thousands of dollars behind and had never paid a cent. You didn’t care about reality, though. You just believed what he told you.

While I had a restraining order against my ex because he went into a rage, (again,) assaulted me when I was pregnant in front of a toddler, confessed, was arrested and plead guilty, you claimed that I was a liar and he’d never been arrested. When I showed proof of the police report, you claimed it was fake. When someone explained to you that the public records were online and verified the report, you claimed he’d been falsely arrested. When I explained that his confession was in the report, you claimed the police had written a false report. When I showed that he plead guilty in court, you claimed the court papers were a lie. When the records were verified in public record, you claimed he’d been coerced into confessing. Then, when you finally admitted that he had assaulted me, you claimed I deserved it, and that I’d pushed him into doing it. When other women told their stories of being abused and assaulted by him, you persisted in calling me a liar and attacking me for my ex narcopath. He sat in the background pulling your strings and you did what he told you to do.

Despite his previous arrest history, questionable reputation, proven refusal to pay child-support, and the documents I have proving he chose not to meet my son until he needed to impress someone, you still continued to call me a liar, an abuser, a crazy woman, a slanderer and a “bitch” who was keeping a loving father from his son. In the face of all reality, you persisted in blindly delivering his lines. When his actions never matched his words, you refused to see the light and kept attacking me.

I might have been the one who was libeled and slandered and viciously attacked for over two years by complete strangers, but you are the losers. You are puppets for a man who would happily throw you under a bus once he’s done using you. And you might not ever be smart enough to realize it. How sad is that?

One thought on “To the flying monkeys who have never met me, but attack me for the narcissist

  1. that, I would also like to point out that in truth, the only way to deal with these sorts of people is to call them on their actonis. If you are walking in the spirit, you will be able to bring their sins to their attention and follow the Matthew 18 process that Jesus outlined for us. So many of us complicate matters because we want to be seen to be diplomatic or mature. I have found that if you are dealing with somebody who claims to be a christian, then you need to bring their attention to what Christ actually taught us about those who refuse to repent of their sin. Eventually these people need to be ousted because let’s face it, they rarely admit to any wrongdoing.I see narcissism not just as a character disorder, but a terrible indulgence in the flesh. I believe God can change them but they have to come to a full understanding of their own carnality, and they need to be able to recognise the consequences of their actonis. If they can’t then they really do need to be treated like tax gatherers.It would take a whole church to do it, and in my experience, few churches will follow scripture when disciplining somebody who is this dangerous. Often of course it is the leader who is the narcissist and all the congregation can do is leave because any form of criticism of the pastor is met with explosive rage and character assassination.We have to stop looking at these problems from a humanistic perspective and name the problem for what it is. Unconfessed and unrepented sin is going to be the yeast which spreads through the whole church.

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