One of my sociopath ex’s flying monkeys has been so vicious and determined to destroy me, that I can only accept that she is a sociopath herself. Many people love her…but many people don’t. Just as with all personality-disordered bullies who can use masks, people’s opinions of her are sharply divided depending on whether or not she has targeted them. She is an extreme gossip who will butt her nose into anyone’s business, and spread lies like it is her life’s purpose. She gets a thrill out of it and is known for destroying people’s reputations. She also volunteers to “help” people and can seem quite nice. Frankly, I think she only “helps” because she is so nosey and gathers information to hurt people! She publicly posts degrading lies about strangers and casual acquaintances, as well as spreading them through email. For years, she has been my sociopath ex’s most vicious and sick flying monkey.
A few days ago, someone made a post about her saying she was a horrible person and a hypocritical bully. Normally, I hate seeing that kind of post on Facebook; however, this time I was nodding my head in agreement. This woman is vile and cruel. It didn’t surprise me that someone brought it up. It also didn’t surprise me that numerous people agreed that she had bullied, attacked or harassed them too. Many people noted her lies, her gossip, her head games, and her generally condescending attitude with which she looks down on others. I won’t lie…I thought she deserved every post–given that she has put me through hell for nearly five years with a severe smear campaign.
Then came along one of the men she flirts with. It is no coincidence that most sociopaths are on good terms with the sex that they want to date. Straight female sociopaths are much nicer to the men they want than they are to the women they terrorize. (And vice versa with male sociopaths.) He posted berating everyone and saying that “Sally” was the nicest woman he knew and he’d never heard her say a bad thing about anyone. (I had to sit on my hands to keep from replying that he lives in an alternate reality!) This woman is famous for gossiping and attacking others. Even those who haven’t been targeted can see what she does! But…she was perfectly nice to this decent looking, single man her age. And here, he thinks she is wonderful, kind and nice. Yeah right!
But this whole situation makes a point about sociopaths:
They choose what sides they let people see.
They have no problem bullying someone they think is worthless, but they will charm someone they think is valuable. Sociopaths value what they can get from popular people, rich people, beautiful people, etc…, and are much more likely to covertly attack the people who can’t boost their popularity or social value. They are night and day.
This situation also makes a point about humanity:
People only see what they want to see.
The man who was standing up for the bully has already decided she’s nice and kind. There is no way he is going to open his mind to the comments from all of those she has bullied. He’s going to conveniently gloss over her public posts and attacks on others because they do not fit the vision of her he has chosen. Unless he gets romantically involved with her and gets ripped apart himself, he will remain clueless.
So many people are easily fooled by a sociopath and have no idea.
The psychopath causing me trouble is my own sister. She caused trouble (in our heads & with her deeds) to me, my older sister, my mother & my younger brother (now departed). The only way to isolate these people (for whom I feel a sympathy for the AWFUL way they are) is just to isolate them forever. It seems terrible to say it, but I do encourage other decent people in my family to recognise what this hateful entity is, & to avoid her. I’m a loving man, I care for others, but why can’t I get this vile person out of my mind? I honestly think they affect you so much with their awful, utterly dishonest nature – they make moving on difficult. I grew up with my sister, now I’ve identified her for what she is, it’s such a relief to totally cast her aside! PS I’ve read ‘Confessions of a Sociopath’ only just to get a better understanding of the awful nature of these people. Chris x
Thank you Joanna for your effort and commitment 🙂
I also live under a pseudonym and started childrenofnarcissism.com after a year of living with a BPD / Covert woman. More men then we will admit also get the bad end of malignant narcissists :). Mine may have been socio-pathic, but with the BPD mix, the fascinating part was she was a model mother to her young kids and mine and was very capable of self-deprecation, genuinely appreciating a modest but loving home with our blended family (being an attorney, she used to live in the mansions of her former “psychopath” ex-husbands) . She had incredible morals, read and practiced self-help books and parenting books galore, and was hellbent on proving out she was a perfect mother and the father was a psychopath. Once the devil showed up, of course, everything flipped 180, and guess who the bad parent really was. Im now friends with her ex, and I know what she does to her children that I adored and cared for, and its the most sick, indecent thing imagineable. The devil comes in angels wings.
Keep up the good work and stay strong and live well – the best revenge!
Hunter
http://www.childrenofnarcissism.com
Maybe surrounding himself with his children is not just nepotism, but also the only way to trust his team, since he can’t build a trust relationship with anybody else.