Yes, good parents can and do lose their children to abusers

If you have spent much time in support groups for abuse survivors, you probably already know this: good parents often lose custody of their children to their abusers. It is sickening, but it is true. The custody battle I endured was a nightmare come true, and the stress of it all probably took years off … Read more

Timeline of a relationship with a narcopath

I was thinking today that I might plot out a timeline of how a relationship goes with a Cluster B abuser. I am leaving out tons of details of abuse just to give a timeline of how fast the stages went. Things might go in a slightly different order, or at a different speed for … Read more

One of the ways we are more vulnerable directly after sociopathic abuse

Directly after I left the narcissist, I realized that I couldn’t trust any of our mutual friends. Immediately, my world got smaller. From the very start, I didn’t have many people I trusted. I’d already come from a narcissistic family, which was why I’d been so vulnerable to another abuser. I already had very few to … Read more

Narcissists will control you by abusing and misusing your time

 Narcissists want to control every little detail of your life. Even if it does them no good, they must be in charge. Even if it makes no sense, they must be in charge. No matter what you do, they want to be the ones pulling your strings. I used to find that my narcopath ex would … Read more

Gaslighting and manipulation at visitation time

I had to deal with the sociopath today because he visited my son this weekend. I hate those weekends! Sociopath has been testing boundaries lately by calling my phone to inform me of his visitation plans. Our court approved mediation states that he must email me by Wednesday and is not allowed to call me…so … Read more

Don’t let your guard down with a narcissist or sociopath!

Sometimes, disordered people can act normal, or even nice! Of course we already know this, because the narcissist was probably pretty good when we first met them, or else we wouldn’t have fallen for them, right? Even when they start showing us their true colors, we often cling to the good parts and assume the … Read more

Don’t Be Afraid to Hit Rock Bottom

As so many of us have learned, recovering from narcissistic abuse is not easy. It’s not a perfect path, either. There are ups and downs. There are breakthroughs and setbacks. It takes years. Sometimes you can feel great for a while, then BOOM! the narcissist notices and makes sure to restart the harassment and smear … Read more